The Amazing Captain Dustin and the Rocket Avengers!!! Conclusion

So, Bentley made it in time and pleased the Queen’s desires, she bit off his head anyways because she is a damn evil she devil. Captain Dustin in his depression for Bentley then locks himself in his rocket sled hanger and leaves the booster on. The End!!!

I worry

I worry about the state of our democracy. That may sound like far out of no where talk, but I seriously do. Within a historical context it seems that democracy’s are always in the most danger from within. From corruption, an inactive and uninformed citizenry as well as power hungry individuals who care not for our constitution or rule of law, but instead only themselves. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t think President Bush has been a good president, to say the least. This has been due to a multitude of reasons but certainly a large one has been his and those around him’s disrespect for our nations law. He see’s the Executive branch it seems in the view of many Neo-Con’s as a Unitary Executive. This is a theory first theorized by neo-conservative’s during the 80’s as the idea that the executive branch is more important by far than any other branch of government. So enters NSPD-51. An executive order president bush signed on May 9th with no press release that says essentially that in a time of a crisis, vague of course, that the president will assume the responsibilities for the ENTIRE federal government. Not in the event that the congress is unable to, or the supreme court cannot meet, but no matter what the circumstances, the president will take over. This is appalling, in every sense. This is the tool of tyrants, people who would use national tragedy to further a hunger for power. People wake up, this is outrageous to make such a statement. I really don’t know how to articulate the sense of outrage we should all feel in response to this kind of blatant disrespect to our founding principles. I have known since early on that the president doesn’t respect the congress, or the judicial branch. With such message of propaganda and terms like “legislating from the bench” meant to make the courts job of protecting the constitution seem wrong. The idea that a court shouldn’t influence policy. Well of course it should, when that policy is a violation of law or principle. But I’m not saying the President Bush, WILL use this, I’m saying he or any other person COULD use it and I see no purpose for it’s existence other than the plan to use it someday. I ask all of you to please, if this ever happens, to take to the streets in protest because if we sit silently and let it happen we’re just as guilty.

Look For Jessica Goins Staring In….

The Wagon Train To Hell, an all new technicolor picture written by and staring Jessica Goins. This Western will have everything, romance, excitement, indians!!!! So pack up your covered wagon and hit the oregon trail because were heading west in….THE WAGON TRAIN TO HELL!!!. Coming Soon To Jessica’s Blog

Proof That God/Satan Exist

From a Blog I read by an IGN staffer, Daemon Hatfield
“Proof of God/Satan #1
friends, can we all agree that people are the dumbest animals on the planet? i try to stay positive, but it seems everytime we do something right, we do something equally dumbass. is this the inescapable balance of the universe?

i’ve decided to catalog examples of this phenomena as proof of the existence of God and Satan. let’s start with the good news first.

Proof that God exists: Grindhouse
two of the greatest directors working today prove that they’re movies taste even better when sandwiched together. hell, in my mind, Tarantino has now made five flawless movies (i count Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2 as one movie). there is so much creativity, energy, craft, and technical prowess jammed into the film’s three hour running time, we’ll be lucky if another movie this year is half as entertaining.

Proof that Satan exists: Grindhouse lost the opening weekend box office to Are We Done Yet?
by about $10 million. seriously. people decided they would rather see a generic, family barf fest starring the weakest poser to ever pretend to be gangsta. Are We Done Yet? has a 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. Grindhouse has an 83%. so now Done Yet? is considered a surprise success and Grindhouse is a box-office flop.

fuck you, human race. fuck. you.”

There is no way to say it better!

Also just a correction, it lost to Are we there yet by about 4 million, to Meet the Robinson’s by about 7 million dollars and by Blades of glory by about 12 million dollars.

But still, that is re, god, damned, diculous. By the way both Blades of Glory got around 60% good reviews, not as bad as the 9% for Are We There Yet, but lord, still, they got reviewed more poorly than Grindhouse by at-least 20%.

GO SEE GRINDHOUSE

Hey guys, this is going to be short and sweet, go see grindhouse. For some reason it had a poor box office opening, but i don’t see why. I mean this is one of the most fun movie experiences i’ve had in, well if not forever then a long damn time. Maybe it was because it was easter weekend, and families were going to the movies, maybe it’s because it’s 3 hours long, but it’s 2 movies. Trust me, this is worth seeing. The first movie is action packed and the 2nd movie has a lot of fun dialogue and a killer action sequence at the end, not to mention all the mock trailers in between. If you go into this movie with a attitude to have fun, you will.

Nope

Wouldn’t like to eat a fuckcake, I just said this in a convo and let me tell you what, i thought i had made it up but as i did the google realized i hadn’t but i assure you I haven’t heard it before. Really, does anyone really create anything TRUELY original anymore, or is everything we ever say been said before, every thought been contemplated already? Point is, what is in a fuckcake? Any ideas people? I mean i know what it sounds like, but if it were an actual bakery item, and you can’t bake fuck, atleast I don’t think you can bake fuck, it would burn if you did, then what is in a fuckcake?

The Next Keanu Reeves….

This kid, this Joseph Gordon-Levitt, is the next freaking Keanu Reeves, and let me tell you why. Here we have a severely experienced thespian who has graced us with such works as an appearance on Dr. Quinn Medicine woman, the Walker Texas Ranger of frontier medicine, Angles in the outfield, 4 episodes of Roseanne, Halloween H20: 20 years later, Third Rock From the Sun ::GOD I HATE THAT SHOW:: and to be fair to Jessica some movie called Brick, which I haven’t seen so cannot attest to his performance but according to our friends at IMDB the film a slightly better than average movie with a 7.7 and according to film experts like Spoffdarko is “Good, but no donnie darko” and out of the comments I saw on the board that is about the best thing anyone had to say about it and pretentious was being thrown around alot. As a matter of fact people arguing over whether it was film noir or not, sounds fairly pretentious in and of itself to me. However, that aside, here we have a guy, who currently still sounds like he’s freaking Keanu in his “pre stick up his ass pretending to be a real actor” phase, as it has come to be called, wanting to convince me he can act his way out of something other than a plastic sack, which I still don’t recommend he do because given his talent he might suffocate. So lets see what Keanu did in comparison. Babes in toyland, the Prince of Pennsylvania, Bill and Ted ::which for the record I do like, but only because it doesn’t try to be what it and he is not, a serious move/actor::, Even Cowgirls get the Blues..then he does Speed and watch out, here comes Mr. Serious! Oooo, and the Matrix, which once again i liked, even though I didn’t like him in it, for all of his melancholy one line responses. Weird huh? So, we’re going to see the same “transformation” with this kid, where he goes from saying Dude in interviews, to acting like he’s permanently got the SS. Minnow rammed up his ass forever stuck on a 3 hour tour of Mr. Seriouspants’s sphincter. I have no problem with someone saying dude, well yes I do, but that’s besides the point. What I’m trying to say, is you don’t have to have a stick up your ass to be a serious actor, you don’t have to be uptight in interviews but you do have to take yourself more seriously than he does and still not look your trying to compensate by being uber fake serious. The kind of serious we can all see through and know your a joke. I don’t think he’ll be a particually great actor, but like Keanu Reeves and while were on it Ben Affleck, he will be one of those guys who gets a lot of good hype for some unknown reason, and people will THINK that he is a good actor. Not because of his actual talent but because the director, writer and editor on his movies go through great effort to salvage their performance by doing a masterful job on splicing together decent to good scenes they manage to eek out. Just like Affleck. With that, I leave you to yell at me Jessica, but I love ya so it’s okay.

Peace Out

The Amazing Captain Dustin And The Rocket Avengers Pt. 2!!!!

In chapter 1….we left our hero wrestling with repairs to the disabled rocket shuttle. Will he succeed, will “McDonald” reach his love?!!!!?

…And it won’t budge. With all the force he can muster the Captain wrestles against the device. SMASH, BANG, ZAM he kicks the rocket engine but to no avail. “Here let me try sir” shouts Bentley, FRAP!!!!!!!!! BOOoooooing, the rattle shakes the sidekick making his teeth chatter. “No my good man, we will have to return to the Rocket ship and take your moon racer!” the Captain bellows. They enter the shuttle and with a bizang, the engines lurch the ship forward just slightly fast enough, with the damaged rocket, to make it slowly back to the their base ship. Zwang, the tail of the shuttle dips as they enter the launch bay scraping the deck plating, if they only had their 4th rocket!!! With a torrent of movement the two move into the fancy short range moon racer to make their way to the spaceport before it’s too late. Racing at the speed of sound across the cosmos, avoiding asteroids, robots and amazonian women they barely make it to their destination. “Sir, this is my baby, take good care of her” our bumbling sidekick tells Captain Dustin. “Don’t worry my lad, i’ve been flying moon racers since before you were artificially conceived in a birthing chamber!” he replies. Knowing the moon racer would never get him to his far off destination of Carlisle he heads back to the base ship to make repairs on the rocket shuttle. Arriving back at the ship our hero realizes that he can’t effect repairs himself, no amount of manly muscular force can budge that rocket only one group can help him, he must call on the galaxy’s most skilled repairmen, AAA. The Atrexian Assistance Alliance!!! After a long hold the Captain gets one of the Atrexian’s on the viewing tube. “Yes Captain Dustin” the tech says, “we’ll be right out”. Then suddenly, and without warning, the evil lady slumber of the night appears using her teleport array. Then using her sweet slumber siren lulls our hero into a deep sleep!!!

What will happen to Captain Dustin now? Will he fight off the temptation of lady slumber and awake? Will AAA get there anytime within the next eon? Will Bentley please the Queen Arachnid’s sexual desires or fall short? Tune in tomorrow to find out, in part 3!!!

The Amazing Captain Dustin And The Rocket Avengers!!!

The scene is set, April 1st 2307 AD, sometime after midnight but before 2 am, our hero the devilishly handsome Captain Dustin enters his stasis tube aboard the rocket-ship Apollo for a good nights sleep. Tossing and turning he realizes the stasis tube is malfunctioning and after only an hours rest he jumps to the ready, hearing the alert siren from his first mate and sidekick Ronald “McDonald” Bentley hailing him for the scheduled transport to the intergalactic space hub, Lexington Spaceport, to catch the bumbling sidekicks space-flight to see his love, the seductive Queen of the Arachnid, Linds’ay. Our hero rushes to the storage bays and loads the rocket shuttle with the equipment and supplies he will need for his long journey into the depths of the Carlisle, after his friend is seen safely to his flight. Dashing through the halls of the ship the dashing Captain Dustin completes his checklist and prepares for departure. Space Rockets, Check. Landing Thrusters, Check. Life Sustainer Unit, Check. Gravity Plating, Check…It’s time for departure. With a thrust of crushing power the shuttle leaves the launch bay of the Rocket Ship with a mighty jolt that could shake loose the rings of Saturn. Suddenly and without warning however an alert light signals that space rocket 4, the pilots side rear, has blown out. Being the clever Captain that he is our hero knows that no space shuttle can travel anywhere on only 3 of the 4 rockets and he knows he must set down for repairs. Guiding his damaged vessel with the skill only a pilot of such daring could, the courageous Captain makes an emergency landing on a desolate rock that would be inhospitable to even the most vicious, Teralian sand beetle. He quickly retrieves the spare rocket from the storage trunk knowing that time is of the essence, one, two…oh no!!! The third and fourth stembolts holding the rocket securely in its place have been fused! But this is no time to panic for men of such valor! With the help of his trusty sidekick and a little old fashioned american muscle, a one, two, three he miraculously frees the stubborn bolts channeling a strength not seen since a thousand ancient nova’s while “McDonald” flies backward with a jesters grace into a pile of bubbling ooze. HA the Captain booms with a hearty laugh he helps his misfortunate friend to his feet. But the engine! With time against our hero he goes to remove the impaired rocket…..

Tune in Next Time for..
THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN DUSTIN AND THE ROCKET AVENGERS!!!! Part 2!!!!!!!

Wii-mocide

Yo blog readers, cough cough jessica, whats up? Well i got in the Skin for my Wii i ordered, and wanted to share it with the world!!! Just remember, I’m not a Psycho, but someone needs to help shatter Nintendo’s kiddy image, and with games like Godfather and Manhunt out for it, the work has begun.